Tomorrow

So, tomorrow it all begins. It's my first day of orientation and I am released into the wild world of university for the very first time. I must admit I'm not feeling quite as excited as maybe I should be, even though my first orientation event is a free pancake breakfast. Still, the prospect of university is kind of scary. I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave the warm, nurturing community of my high school. A couple of days ago I went back to school to give a brief address at an assembly and reconnect with my senior teachers and it reminded me of the close relationships I had with them. As a single student in a lecture hall of two hundred, I struggle to see how any comparable connections can be made at uni.

The whole place seems to me like a busy collective of disconnected individuals, there to simply do their work. Of course I'm sure it is a lot more than that and I've heard countless times that "you make your best friends for life at university" but somehow those words aren't sinking in just yet. I don't feel like a uni student, but I'm not a high school student either. I guess I've just grown accustomed to identifying myself as part of a group and now I'm just me - stuck in some weird transitional phase. I'm going from being a 'Senior' with authority and experience to being a clumsy first year who doesn't know what the hell is going on. I know that this is a step forward but somehow I feel like I'm taking five steps back.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow and chances are it will be great - nothing ever turns out to be as complicated as I make it out to be in my head. It's time to get out of the past and even if it feels way too soon, that seems to be how life operates.

A message for all the school kids out there - soak up every moment because though it may not seem like it, there are so few.